She Sits|| Actions of a Breaking Heart

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/06/daily-prompt-discomfort/

Photographers, artists, poets: show us DISCOMFORT.”

 

*The DownLow*

So it looks like I’ve taken a poetic turn for these daily prompt posts. I’m not complaining. It’s about time I incorporated my poetry into my blog. Anywho, today’s prompt for poetry was “Discomfort”. The discomfort I’ve portrayed here is from a different angle – The discomfort of settling for less. I’ve seen enough of my loved ones settle for less and that’s what prompted this piece. The pain I feel.*

*Read. Receive. Respond*

 

She sits in the middle of her thoughts and wonders.

Wonders continue to fill her buzzling mind as she feels.

Feels the rhythm of her heart beating for something…

Uncertain.

Uncertainty rouses fear from the depth of her being as she continues

To walk without seeing.

Such faith – she breathes – is not healthy when the one receiving it

Is as shaky as a foundation in Haiti.

Fear grips her heart as her thoughts lead her to a door.

Him.

The one she loves to see…the reason for a lot of her smiles.

Him being the one that holds her and makes her feel

Alright with the mad world she calls life.

Him being the one that sends her mind on a trip of contemplation and confusion,

When those arms unwind and reposition themselves so that they –

Push her away. Further and further from him and his

Reality.

Reality is more than blurry for her when it comes to him.

She lives for the moments where he cries out “I need you” and dreads –

Yet expects – the distance that comes even when they’re two inches away

From each other.

She puts on a mask and knows he sees her real face through the plastic smile

She places when the cold air comes in and she freezes.

Words fill her mind yet they are so disconnected, from her mouth.

She cries for North but settles for the South because in her mind, it’s safer

To settle with the little she gets rather than jump out for so much more.

Because that so much more won’t come from the him she wants.

Though it’ll be from the Him she needs it won’t be right.

Her mind has forced her into that spot. Her heart won’t say a word as it

Quietly agrees and pumps the emotions and feelings for the

Ever-changing season she wants to embrace.

In his absence she’s sure that she will walk away and find stability.

In his presence he is her stability.

A stability so shaky it makes the world look broken.

She is not blind.

She is not deaf.

She knows.

But she chooses.

She chooses to settle for the ever-changing catastrophe brought to her.

She chooses the temporary peace and deludes herself into thinking

“This is it.”

Though “it” is nothing but another snippet of something transient and reliable as

A cloud over the tropical sea.

She yearns to settle with the unsettled though the world knows that none of that

Can happen.

None of that is true.

But she still hopes and dreams of those three words to be brought to life.

‘I love you’

Love who? Love how?

She sits and looks down as real life dances around her and laughs.

Laughs at her pain and each tear-dropping gain that falls down the drain of

Disappointment.

She doesn’t feel alone. She is alone.

But she chose it.

She chose him.

A choice so broken, so messed up…

It almost makes sense.

Image

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4 thoughts on “She Sits|| Actions of a Breaking Heart

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