A few months ago, I made a declaration that this year would be my year of “YAAAAAS”. A crazier way of saying “My Year of Yes”. Inspired by Shonda Rhimes and her awesomeness – along with a lot of reflective moments of where I’d like to see my life headed.
I’d dedicated this year to embracing opportunities that may scare me, making changes I wouldn’t usually make…basically, I’ve been all about trying new things.
In the past few months, I’ve watched my life go from one level to the other. It’s amazing how one conscious decision can change everything.
I’m not here to write about the amazing things that have happened, though. No. That’s for December. I might need several blog posts for that, though.
One thing I have learned – really learned – is that with every awesome thing that has come, a great amount of responsibility has followed. And it stayed.
Adulting (‘being an adult’) came at me so fast. I was not ready. Balancing it with schoolwork? Worse.
I’d reached a point of being with my laptop wherever I went – bed, class, cafes, even church.
The only thing on my mind was “I need to work.” I no longer saw anyone because… work.
And everyone understood. They saw the bags under my eyes. They were victims to my snappish moods and strange behaviour – nothing major, just arguing with myself and pulling out my hair. Not too bad…right?
It was my uni’s Spring Festival last week. I’d resolved to miss the entire thing. Because…work. Deadlines. “Adulting.”
Spring Fest would just have to wait until next year. Until last Friday came. Long story short, I went to Spring Fest. I made noise. Got hyper. Ate food. Almost got into fight with other adults over a rollercoaster. Found myself at colour fest, jumping around and dancing like I’d never danced before.
Meanwhile, my phone was buzzing with alerts. Deadlines upon deadlines. Appointments upon appointments. But I did not care.
That weekend, something in me snapped, and I realized that I needed to have some fun.
It reminded me of something in Shonda Rhimes’ book, Year of Yes.
“Yes is meant to feel like the sun.”
I hadn’t felt the sun in ages. I hadn’t felt the warmth…the laughter…the sun, man.
The best way to describe it. I may have been in the light, but I wasn’t paying attention. Immersed in awesome but all I was seeing was the burdens…the work…the pain.
So I decided to flip the switch and just…stand in the sun. Soak it all in. Embrace it with my whole being. Laugh. Jump around. Get all kinds of colours all over me.
For that moment, I chose to forget about the “have-to-dos”…and I chose to stand and breathe and feel the light and warmth. Not only feel it, but carry it along with me.
It is so easy to get caught up in the madness. It is painlessly easy to stay running on the hamster wheel. It’s easy to forget that this life we live…it needs warmth. It needs light. It needs fun too.
Your fun might not be surrounding yourself with dozens of people and powdered colours. But that’s okay. Your fun does not need to be my fun. What matters is that you are having fun.
What matters is that you are laughing. That you’re living. That your breaths are filled with relief, and love, and joy.
That the lines on your face are from smiling. That your body is filled with warmth.
You need it. You deserve it.
Sure, the work needs to be done. The grind needs to be lived. The world needs to be tackled with strength and focus.
But every now and then…it is good to throw everything aside, step outside and soak in the sun. Whatever your sun may be — as long as it brings you good. No harm here. Your wellbeing matters.
That’s all I’d like to drop today.
I have a couple of things to do. But first… the sun.
Have a great weekend everyone**
Don’t forget the sun…