On being on the other side of the grass…
The side that doesn’t seem so green
Things may seem like they aren’t going in your favour right now. Your plans are on paper, while others’ skyscrapers are out there..for all to see.
So you’re not married yet? Sure that sucks…but you will find someone, one day, who you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with…and you will be grateful for not rushing it because of the pressure. The loneliness? It will pass. It will…
Don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in love. Your time will come.
Even if it didn’t work out before…don’t let that define you. Break-ups happen. They are devastating. They hurt. You cared about the person, why wouldn’t you be upset? Cry those tears. Allow yourself to heal. Cringe while you think of the plans you two had together. And ignore the shame that comes your way from people. Relationships aren’t small things. When they end, it hurts. No one, in a committed relationship, anticipates it ending horribly. You don’t walk into a relationship expecting it to crash and burn.
Pain is present in the healing process. You wouldn’t need healing if there wasn’t any pain.
So heal. Crying can be part of healing. Asking questions. Don’t try and hide that pain. Confront it. Acknowledge it. If others are uncomfortable about your pain, you ignore them. Let yourself heal.
And know that not every relationship will crash and burn. Like I mentioned above…one day you will meet someone and it will work out. And you will be happy together.
You’ll be happy before you meet someone. That’s what life should be. We don’t depend on someone else for our happiness…we shouldn’t. Because if that person lets you down…there goes the happiness.
The job you have might not be the job you desire. It might not help that all your peers seem to be progressing and you’re there…seemingly stagnant. That promotion will come. Or maybe one day, you will find the courage to quit your job and pursue your dreams.
Such courage doesn’t come in one day – neither do promotions. It may not seem like it now…but you are actually working towards that future. Slowly – sometimes painfully slowly – but surely. Some days, you’ll feel on fire. Other days, you’ll want to give up, but you won’t, because you know what you have planned for your life.
Sometimes, you might feel like your plans don’t make sense. Especially when they have to become a reality — or they’re stuck in that awkward building phase where you’re spending more money than you’re receiving because…”beginning stages”.
The beginning phase of any project..any dream can be really hard. Especially when the number of people who believe in you dwindle day by day until it’s just you and a few – or just you.
You will conquer that phase. With every tear, every sleepless night, every obstacle, know that you are a step closer…
You will feel disappointment. There are times you will cry. This is your dream. Your emotions are fully invested. Anything that happens, good or bad, will evoke an emotion.
Don’t you dare feel guilty for expressing your passion.
Fact of the matter is…you will encounter times where you will feel like what you are doing is not enough…especially in comparison to what “other people are achieving”. You might not be able to help it, but those low feelings will come. They will also go. That moment will pass. And your hope will be stronger and you will feel lighter and you will continue to fight.
You will continue to press on.
You will prosper.
It truly does happen at different times for everyone.
Don’t force the strength. Don’t force the optimism. Be honest with yourself. Confront the difficulties. Acknowledge the pain. Deal with the dissatisfaction.
Your grass will become greener. It takes time. Sometimes we don’t even notice the progress until a certain amount of time passes.
With time, things will fall into place. You’ll have your own “I’m happy to announce” moment.
You will flourish.
The tears you’ll cry…will be tears of joy.
That smile will be real.
That moment will be yours.