Rise: A collection

This collection was written in a day but it took a couple of weeks for me to realize what I wanted to do with it. As short as it is, believe me when I say I poured a lot into this collection.

This is for the heart. All hearts. You will find something in here for you. This is for you. Who is “You”? The person reading it. Where you read “I”…read it as if it were you.

This is about victory. This is about healing. This about being the amazing person you were created to be. This is about identity. This is about standing proud. This is about love.

It is about the “after”. After the falls. After the tears. The light that has come.

I hope and pray that the light from this collection, comes into contact with your heart, and amazing things come from it 🙂

Share it. Send a message to me if you would like to discuss it.

You can find me on

Twitter: @FayMeIs

Facebook: Chipo Faith-Grace Biti

Bless you ❤

Click This Link To Download Rise

 

 

Journey Out of The Uncomfortable: Trying Again

I mentioned in a previous post that I’ve had a longtime battle with my image. I spent a good number of years hating my body. I tried all kinds of things to lose weight. Some were very destructive.

My attempts always ended the same way — Gaining more weight.

I’ve watched myself fold away a favorite pair of jeans because they don’t fit…one too many times.

My chest would tighten whenever I heard the words “Let’s go shopping”

I’ve been homies with the struggle of seeing an awesome dress and realizing that it most definitely is not my size.

I hated taking full-length photos of myself because…well, I hated the way I looked.

It didn’t matter how many times I heard someone telling me how “beautiful”
I am…I never believed it.

 

Then July 2015 came and I had a *moment*. I was about to watch one of my favorite shows, and I had my junk food lined up. Halfway through my meal, I stopped and asked myself, “What am I doing?”. That was the umpteenth time I was having junk food that week, and well, it wasn’t doing my skin, my body or my general health a favour.

I guess that’s where I can say my journey started. I did a lot of thinking. I researched different recipes. Upped my water intake. And so started my “Lifestyle” journey. It wasn’t a diet, well that’s what I kept saying. It was me, making alterations to my lifestyle, for the benefit of my body.

I pushed away my mental calendars and expectations, and took it one day at a time. I gradually lowered my sugar intake, gradually upped my water intake, and changed the contents of my meals, bit by bit.

If I wanted take out, I opted for something that wasn’t a burger or fried chicken — that was not easy. But it was working. I was just taking joy in the little victories that were coming my way. And the changes came quickly. My skin ceased from being a disaster. My sleeping habits were improving. And my confidence increased.

After two weeks of working on my eating, which was the core issue of my weight gain, I joined a gym and went three times a week. My exercizes weren’t hardcore. I wasn’t in a rush. I was serious about getting my body into the groove. I know myself. If I approach things with too much energy and way too many changes, I quit after a while.

I was losing weight quicker than I’d anticipated. The bloating was gone. I felt good. I actually looked forward to shopping.

I put some of my ‘health’ smoothies and alternative meals up. I received a lot of encouragement. And a lot of judging too. It hurt me at first but I didn’t care. This was about me.

 

But somewhere along the lines, I lost focus. I became obsessed with the weight loss. Everything became about losing weight. If I ate too much, I’d starve myself the next day. Soon, that same old complacent feeling returned and well, the lifestyle stopped. Kind of.

Those six weeks of extreme caution, helped me regain power over my eating habits. All my money used to go to food. But now, I think before I spend. I’m not as fond of junk food as before…If I try pig out, I feel really sick the next day.

I soon learned that, caring for my body didn’t necessarily mean giving up all the foods I loved. No, it just meant moderating what I eat. Not everday fried chicken or a burger. Sometimes, just chicken and salad.

It took me a while to write about this because I felt like a real failure. Putting my health life out there on Instagram, only for it to fade. Some people had a field day with it.

At one social gathering, this girl, in front of all these people, shouted “Chipo, I thought you were on a diet.”

I wasn’t even eating anything hectic. It was party rice and chicken. I just smiled and let her go on.

It got to me for a while. But things changed.

Sometime last week, I was going through clothes I’d stored away as ‘too small’. And I tried them on. They fit! High-waisted jeans that I couldn’t wear in August? I wore them yesterday. I found a pair of leggings that were too small in July. They fit now. A couple of dresses I was about to give away? They fit. And awesomely.

I’d been so caught up in feeling like a failure, I missed out on the long-lasting effect of that…er..shall we call it a detox? Lifestyle change?

I’d put on weight in December, but within six weeks, it was gone. I didn’t do anything extreme. I just watched what I ate, and took long walks — and stressed a bit.

But there’s progress.And that’s what it’s all about. Progress.

This journey is a long one. And I’ve realized that I may fall a couple of times, but what matters really, is when I get up.

There will be hecklers. There will be skeptics. There will be times I’ll look at myself in the mirror and wonder where I went wrong.

But for every low moment, there is a high one.

I am beautiful.

I am precious.

I am a wonder.

I am beautiful.

And I love myself, and I will only make changes to my body, because I believe that it will benefit. Not to fit some other person’s perception of appropriate.

And with every single bit of progress that comes, I smile. It reminds me that I am capable of doing anything when I put my mind to it.

And to anyone out there who may be going through a similar struggle, know this.

If I, with all my procrastination and laziness at times, can do it.

You can. I believe you can.

But even if you can’t right now, don’t let it get to you. Just get up, and keep trying until you win.

Have an awesome weekend everyone.

Photocred: R3VD Photography

Today

We still haven’t met.

That’s okay.

Though I hoped it would be today,

I’m not mad or sad.

 

We didn’t meet today,

That’s okay.

I know that one day that day will be ‘today’,

The day, That day, Our first day…

 

The day that I’ll remember with a glint in my eye.

The day we’ll try to recollect together and accuse each other

Of bad memories and white lies.

Our day.

 

The day your universe collided with mine and

The invisible timer reset from 22 years and a month and a bit

To Year 0 Day 1: Our Time.

 

Maybe, on that day, we’ll know that this is for good.

 

Or maybe you’ll know and I’ll take a while

But my eyes will open and I’ll realize that

“Hey… you’re a good kind of forever, so I choose you too.”

That day…That ‘today’ that’ll lead to

Aisles and guests and pretty clothes and I dos.

That day that will lead to many mini versions of us combined.

I look forward to that day, I really do.

The day I meet you.

 

Or maybe we’ve already met but our eyes are yet to be opened?

As we wade through life, towards each other, and towards more life…

As we are constantly prepared for assorted journeys

And our own, of course.

As we walk, as we stumble – sometimes, as we run, dance and sing…

Towards that day…

That day…

Today.

That today.

I look forward to that day.

The day it makes sense.

The day it’s official?

That our universes intertwine after collision,

And we slowly begin to make joint decisions,

From that today to more todays until…

Well, I’m not thinking about that day.

That can wait.

Wait.

I can’t wait.

But I don’t mind waiting.

Because on that day this will all make sense.

Even if it doesn’t, we’ll make sense of it on our own.

Us.

You.

Me.

We.

That day.

That very day.

Today.

 

Photocred: Edri Ana

You Are My Cause

“If your day to day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be?”

 

Doing what I do every day. Striving to help people in any way possible. Making people realize that they are awesome – and I’m not saying that to make anyone feel good. IT IS THE TRUTH. You are awesome. You are beautiful. You are capable of achieving your goal. Actually…this cause is my day to day responsibility. Sure no one’s asking me to do it but I don’t care. When I do it, when I see that I’ve managed to touch a person’s heart after helping them realize that they are this big ball of awesomeness… I feel right. I feel good!

I want to continuously help teenage girls realize that they are beautiful and that they do have a future that goes beyond “getting married and having lots of babies”. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but if you’re a teenage girl with a goal to get somewhere – flipping pursue that goal! I want to help guys realize that the world needs MEN. Not boys. MEN. MEN shake the world. MEN make things move. MEN find wives. I could go on.

I want to help women who’ve been abused. I want to help men who’ve been abused. Anyone. Children of all ages too. I want them to realize that they are special and they have a place in the world. A place of significance.

See, in case you haven’t noticed… I have a pretty big heart. That is my cause. The world is my cause. The insecure. The beaten down. The hurt. The uncertain. They are my cause. The ones with potential. The ones who don’t see their potential. They are my cause. Children who don’t get love. Women who constantly cry. People in pain. They are my cause.

People are my cause. Helping people is my cause. A cause that I’ll throw myself into regardless of what my day to day responsibilities.

People are awesome. You are awesome. If you need help, well I guess you’re my cause. Why? Because I care.

“But Chipo, you don’t even know me.”

I don’t care. I want to. Because I care.

Because that is my cause.

That will never change.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/03/daily-prompt-help/

Finally I Can See You Crystal Clear|| Wedding Day|| Daily Prompt

Daily Prompt: Can’t Drive 55

She smiled as she took in her reflection. Her white dress hugged her body in the right places, showing off her statuesque figure. She smiled. She looked stunning and she knew it. She sighed with relief as she sat down. She needed to rest – it was the only time she was going to get a chance to rest for the entire day. She chuckled. A bride’s wedding day was one of the best days of her life but it was also one of the most active. She shuddered as she thought of all of the events planned for the day. A sense of peace followed right after the shudder. It was here. Her wedding day was finally here. She sighed as she took a bit of time to think of all of the heartbreaks she’d cried over. She laughed. To think that she’d cried over guys who would have had her feeling very uncertain if she were to wed anyone of them. She shook her head. The pains of adolescence and young adulthood were many but she’d endured. She’d made it. She thought of the very first day she met him.

She was in the midst of contemplating the emotionally draining relationship she’d found herself in. Then along came this guy with a wonderful smile and a sense of humour to match. She’d given him the label – Best Friend. But for a long time her heart had said otherwise. It took one fateful day – months after she’d ditched the last douche bag. She smiled as she remembered how he simply told her that he liked her and he was tired of sitting in the shadow of being a mere “Best Friend”.
She remembered how confused she’d felt. In the months that they’d become best friends, they’d shared everything with each other. Everything. The good. The bad. The ugly. The really ugly. She didn’t know if she could allow him to love her with all the baggage she had. Life was quite a blur for her as their friendship went on one heck of a rollercoaster ride.
They stopped talking due to her uncertainties and insecurities.

Her favourite part began to play in her mind. A mutual friend of theirs was getting married and they were both part of the bridal party. It had been so awkward considering the fact that the last time they’d seen each other, they’d been yelling at each other at the top of their lungs. Now there they were, partners in the bridal party. She remembered the taut smiles. The sad feeling eating away at her heart. Her heart lifted as she remembered how he came outside and found her whilst she had a little cry. The bride and groom had already left and the bridal party was free to do as they please. She’d become overwhelmed at the thought of “what could be” she had to leave. She remembered feeling someone grab her arm and pull her close to them. She’d already recognized his cologne. She tried to protest but he refused.

“I let you go once,” he’d said. “I refuse to let you go again. I love you – baggage and all. All I ask is that you see through your haze and realize that you deserve to be loved.”

She smiled as she remembered how it felt for the blur of confusion to leave her sight. She remembered looking up at him.

“I see you clearly now,” she’d said. “I see us clearly now.” Her thoughts were interrupted by the harried wedding planner barging through the door. “It’s time!” she said, gasping for breath. She took a deep breath and rose from her seat. It was time.

Walking down the aisle, the priest’s words, the congregation around her were all a blur. All she could see was the love of her life in front of her. It was time for the vows. She smiled up at him as she prepared to say her vows.

“Finally, we are here.
Expressing our great love we share.
Finally, all can see
The amazing future that is you and me. Finally, we are here, my love
Where all can see that this was made by God above.
Time has had its challenges.
Time has had its pain.
But though we’ve fallen a couple of times, we’ve risen time and time again.
I promise to love you through it all.
Through every problem, every celebration – big and small.
Finally, my love, we are here.
Through all of the blurs of my life, my eyes are clear.
Finally, I can see you crystal clear.
I see you clearly.
I love you dearly.
I see us, baby.
You and I is all I see.”

If you love them, hold on to them. If you know that they are worth it then hold on. Love cannot survive without faith and effort. Forget what the world will say. If you know that he/she is the one..then keep them!!!

Title from 3rd line of Rolling in The Deep – Adele

Walking. Walking With You.

a dedication. Kudzi…thanks for kicking my butt and having my back 🙂

Come take my hand and walk with me.
Walk with me and sing me a song
Tell me tales of what makes you
You.
Come take my hand and walk with me.

Come take my hand and walk with me.
Forget about the noise around and focus on the
Peace that sets you free.
Hold my hand. Don’t let go.
Hold my hand and walk with me.

Come take my hand and walk with me.
Our steps matching as we create this journey.
Admire the stars. Bask in the sun.
Forget about your worries. Your battles Have been won.
Smile child and walk with me.

I’m here to walk with you. To guide you as you go.
You may trip. You may fall.
I’m here to pick you up. To push you forward when you look back.
Come take my hand and walk with me.

I’ll never let you go.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/daily-prompt-walk/

Friendship|| He Saw The Flower|| A Dedication

A dedication to a friend who had every right to discard me and move along with life…but chose to help and support me because they saw the good that others refused to see. 

Image

The wrinkled petals. The faded colour.

He saw it as a flower.

The diminished scent. The fragile state.

He put it in his hand and still called it great.

It lacked a stem. It belonged to no bouquet.

He knew that and still said “okay”.

The world had deemed it useless. The world’s standards said,

“It has no beauty.”

He smiled and replied,

“To you. Not me.”

They called him a fool, they even laughed.

They saw nothingness where he saw something worth

Picking up the broken rose.

The rose felt the warmth. The rose absorbed the hope.

Faded became bright. Fragile turned into firm.

The petals conjoined and became greater than what they once were.

The beautiful scent returned in full force as it gained more power.

This rose, once again, was a fully-grown flower.

They didn’t know what to say. All were at a loss for words.

He smiled.

He’d ignored their “Don’t. Won’t. Can’t.” and gave the rose

A risky chance.

A chance never forgotten. A chance the rose never released.

A chance the rose cherished so much it vowed to be

As radiant and fulfilling as can be.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/daily-prompt-friendship/

 

 

Light Up

 

If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it. (Bonus points if you give us a recipe!)

Photographers, artists, poets: show us DINNER.

 

“There she is!”

Whispers emanated from the small group of waitrons. She was totally unaware of this as she walked past them and smiled. They greeted her with enthusiastic waves and heart-warming smiles. Theresa, the newbie of the group, looked at her peers.

“What’s all the fuss about?” she asked, failing to understand the significance of this woman’s arrival. She clearly wasn’t just another patron, she’d figured. Her colleagues were far too excited about her. Most of the members of the group looked at her, surprised.

“That’s Megan Light,” Wanda, her mentor, informed her. “She’s a special part of this restaurant.”

“Why?” Theresa asked. She’d only been on the job for a couple of days. Stacey, a quirky blonde, pointed at a table in the corner.

“That’s where he proposed to her,” Stacey explained. “He had the ring come on a silver platter. It came as a ‘special dessert’. It was beautiful. She cried. He cried. She said yes. They received a standing ovation. They deserved it. It was just so beautiful.”

All the fuss because of the proposal? Theresa wondered. This restaurant was weirder than she’d thought.

“I’m guessing it’s their anniversary?” Theresa said. She tried her level best not to sound cynical. Wanda shook her head gravely. Melissa, a beautiful African girl, pointed at a table on the other side of the restaurant. It was a dimly lit area – reserved for intimate occasions –on the patron’s request, of course.

“He broke of the engagement there,” she spoke quietly. “We could feel the ominous vibes from the moment he walked in to meet with her. It was nothing dramatic. She cried quietly. They shared a sad farewell kiss and she left first. Before we could award him with “Loser of the Year”, we saw him cry as he watched her leave. We knew that there was more to his decision than he’d let on.”

Theresa felt her heart tighten. She didn’t like where the story was going. She could feel something painful coming along.

“What happened after that?” Theresa asked quietly. Her colleagues’ faces clouded over with sadness as they recalled the next event.

“They held his memorial dinner here,” Wanda spoke simply. Theresa’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“Brain cancer,” Stacey wiped a tear away. “He passed on a couple of weeks after he broke off the engagement.”

Theresa felt emotion swell in her heart. She found it strange. She didn’t even know these people but there she was, feeling sorry for a woman she’d never met let alone spoken to ever. It puzzled her. She saw the understanding look on Melissa’s face.

“We felt the same way,” she replied. “We barely knew this couple but it honestly felt like we’d been part of their story. Her speech at the memorial dinner was beautiful. Loving.”

“When did it happen?” Theresa asked.

“Two years ago,” Wanda explained. “She comes here every week and sits at the table where he proposed to her. I asked her about that once.”

“What did she say?” Theresa asked, desperate to hear the answer.

“At first, she needed to be close to him,” Wanda said. “His proposal was the clearest memory she had of him at the time. As time went by, her answer changed. She said that this place had become a place of refuge for her. It still is. When she’s under pressure, she comes here. If she’s stuck, she comes here. When she’s going through something – good or bad – she’s here. She’s become a part of this place.”

Theresa nodded quietly.

“It’s her birthday today,” Melissa said.

“So we – everyone here – have done something for her,” Stacey was back to bouncing with excitement.

“What?” Theresa asked.

Suddenly, the lights went dim. Theresa found herself being shuffled to the kitchen entrance. She was confused. What was going on? Suddenly, the staff began to sing “Happy Birthday”. The chef held a giant cake as they walked towards Megan’s table. Tears were streaming down her glowing face. Theresa felt a lump in her throat.

Wanda stepped forward as the singing ended.

“We’ve decided to name a special dish in your honour,” Wanda smiled. One of the assistant chefs rushed forward and lifted the lid off of a plate. “The ‘Light Up’ Special Dessert.”

Megan’s eyes widened as she admired the apple crumble, covered in a layer of specially whipped cream and adorned with a number of glistening silver balls. With a flick of a lighter, two protruding chocolate-like sticks began to sparkle. The crowd watched in awe.

Megan was speechless as she looked at the wonderful staff. Theresa felt a couple of tears fall down her cheek. She didn’t care.

“Your fiancé, James, mentioned how you lit up his world,” Stacey gushed. “He said it as he left the restaurant the day you two er um –

“It’s okay to say that we broke up,” Megan smiled sadly. She had such a gentle voice, Theresa wondered.

“Well yes,” Stacey continued. “Your presence here has always lit us up too. And since it fits with your surname perfectly, we’ve decided to name this special dessert in your honour.”

Megan waited for the applause to die down before she began to speak.

“I think this dessert should be named in your honour just as much as it’s been named in mine,” she explained. “You have all served as bright, reassuring lights in my world. In my darkest times, I’d find peace here. Your wonderful smiles and beautiful personalities gave me hope when I’d lost all of mine. God bless you all.”

Theresa wasn’t surprised to find that she and Megan weren’t the only ones crying. She smiled through her tears.

She’d definitely been employed at the right place. How could she go wrong with all of these bright, shining lights around her?

It could never happen.

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.
Tecumseh

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/23/daily-prompt-dinner/Image

Personality|| My Big Heart

It scares me.

The limits and bounds I’d go for the ones I love

Without even thinking of

If they’d do it for me too.

It really does scare me when I think of what

I’m willing to do for you

Provided I don’t get arrested or anything like that,

You know?

No you don’t.

I don’t expect you to.

See, I was born with a heart – a big one at that –

Maybe too big – way too big

But that’s that.

I was born with a heart to love and a heart to make sure

That even when I don’t want to smile, I will

Because someone will see that smile and they’ll feel good inside.

I’m not idealistic – well, maybe only a bit

But I’d rather go around smiling foolishly instead of trying to bury myself

In a muddy pit of self-pity and sorrow

That’ll probably be gone tomorrow.

I’d rather put my heart on my sleeve and have open arms for those

Who grieve and those who have lost their hope.

I want to be that one who throws the rope that they’ll grab onto and

Float towards civilization from that deep blue sea of

Confusion, sadness and uncertainty.

I love to make my loved ones smile, it means the world to me when

That happiness lasts for a very long while

Because while they smile I know that whatever was bringing them down

Won’t come back to revive that frown.

No not on my watch. Not whilst I’m around.

If I see you down on the ground, best believe that I will stretch my hand

And offer it to you so you can get up and stand instead of lie

On the ground like you’re meant to die because

Right now is not the time for such. The world needs you

Way too much!

Listen to me it’s true. Why do you think there’s only one version of you?

Your DNA? Your very make-up?

So I suggest you wake up and smell whatever it is you need to smell

Coffee would be a safe one and realize that there is no one like you

That is true and you need to accept it.

Accept it and do something with the originality that has been thrust upon

Your very being in this reality of life and all of its moments.

Live in every moment you’re graced with,

Love at every chance you get,

Go about wisely though so you don’t have that many regrets but even if you do

It’s okay, because we’re not perfect

We make mistakes

Just learn from them and pick another cake in this big bakery of

Life and all its wonders.

Wonder about the world you live in, go out and explore.

I need to. Because there’s a lot more to my love for people

That I know is true.

My problem may be that I love too hard and end up with bruises on the ground.

Well to me it’s worth it, don’t ask me why.

I’m still trying to figure it out.

So please know that if you come across me I will smile and I will

Try to impart whatever this big ball of warmth in me is, on you.

I will have arms open for a hug

Teeth ready to flash a smile

An ear willing to listen and words ready to polish you up ‘til you

Glisten with the truth about you – that you are an awesome human being and

I’ll tell you that’s what I’ve seen.

It scares me that I have so much hope for the human race.

It scares me that I believe in people – even when they don’t deserve it.

Maybe I’m silly. Maybe I’m naïve.

Well let me live.

A smile a day is better than none. A laugh an hour is way better than silence.

Love over violence.

Peace over war.

It may take time for that but I know that day will I come.

I believe it. I really do.

So as for me and my big heart we’ll continue to love.

Love hard and never stop.

Never stop.

Not for a second.

Not a single one.

–          Writtent to the song Fix You (Straight No Chaser Rendition)Image

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/21/daily-prompt-personality/

Distance||Far From Him – A dedication to all those long-distance lovers out there.

 

The DownLow

Well today’s WordPress Daily Prompt encourages poets, artists, and photographers to display/depict “Distance”. I decided to express my inner poet – yes- and make this piece rather sentimental (see: mushy). But, as usual, this does not depict events in my real life. Some of you may think that there’s no need for me to emphasize this but trust me there is! – That’s a post for another day.

Introducing:

Distance From Him

 

Late night. Dark Sky.

Well, fairly dark as the stars puncture the black expanse

Above me.

No moon, sadly. Its presence would be fitting.

Fitting in with my current state of mind.

My puzzled state of mind?

What a state indeed.

 

Position plays an important role in the thoughts churning

From my mind and flowing into my trembling soul.

My here is not his here as he is far away in a land called

“There”.

“There” being so far from my “here” it hurts to even think of

The technicalities and the reality of this loathsome thing

I call distance.

 

Distance and I are not friends.

Distance and I share no good thing whatsoever.

Distance keeps me from him.

Distance laughs at my pain of learning to live with

“I miss you” and the tonnes of

“I can’t wait to see you” messages we share to keep us sane.

 

This isn’t written to impress. This isn’t written for your approval.

This piece merely serves as a sign of the remnant of the upheaval

In my enduring heart as I count down the days, hours, minutes and seconds.

This here isn’t for me. It isn’t for a singular “you”.

It’s for all of those who know what I’m talking about when I say there is pain

And endless hope, love, and excitement behind every

“I wish you were here”

“I wish you were near”

“I love you, dear.”

Image

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/daily-prompt-distance/