I Woke Up Hating You

For anyone who’s going through the journey of letting go, forgiving, and allowing themselves to heal.

**Disclaimer as always: I am fine. This is not about me. No need to be concerned :)**

I woke up hating you.
Rage in my mind,
Boiling in my blood.
That mental image of your face had me waking up hating you.

Remembering the things you’d do,
To make me believe you cared too.
Hammering away at the walls in.my heart,
Just to wreak havoc and tear me apart,
I woke up hating you.

As I recalled your gall,
Your boldness to call me out on
Not trusting you. Not giving you a chance.
Just a ploy for you to take over this dance.
As I ball my hands…into fists..
Awake…And hating you.

My breath out of rhythm,
Madness in my system,
I’ve realized this can’t be life.
I keep on like this I’ll reduce my time
Spent alive..
Spent hating you..
This won’t do.

So for forgiveness I prayed,
And the ability to love is begged for.
Day in, day out,
I battle the urge to even the score.
To justifiably end my hate for you.

But this won’t work,
I can’t let this be.
Because the only one hurting,
Harmed and affected..
Is me.

So I’ll bite my tongue,
And endure the pain,
As I learn to live again,
Love again,
Return to sane.

As I reconcile with peace,
And make friends with harmony.
Moving past the done wrongs,
Erasing the angry songs.
I move on…

To moments of laughter.
To genuine joy.
To good memories,true.
As I learn to go to bed..
And wake up clear…
As I wake up..calm.
As I wake up…happy.

As time moves,
And the seasons too,
I sigh, relieved,
That I no longer…
Wake up hating
You.